Wednesday, November 18, 2009

without a word you made me know love

my life in a list...

1. panic
2. panic that leads to no productivity
3. consumed by you're beautiful
4. in serious need of a pig-rabbit
5. watching all the thanksgiving friend episodes
6. secret smiles for imaginary friends
7. being cracked out
8. being the reigning champ of procrastination
9. getting burned by lamps
10. wearing my red flats

Thursday, November 5, 2009

simply beautorious

Westlands Gate!

Today I was falling asleep in class when all of a sudden a bee (not just any bee, it was a Queen bee, it was HUGE) landed on my shirt. To say the least it woke me up. But I yelled out in the middle of my class, "HOLY CRAP! NATURE IS ON ME!" As I proceeded to stand up and flail around, swatting my arms in the air in a blind panic. Later someone asked me, "so Alex...not big on the nature, huh?" Nature and I are not friends. I made it pretty damn sure that my entire fiction class knows too.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

mysterious as the darkside of the moon


The moon this past Monday night. It was spooky and glorious!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

pride and prejudice and zombies

"Mr. Darcy watched Elizabeth and her sisters work their way outward, beheading zombie after zombie as they went." (15).

Seth Grahame-Smith takes the classic Jane Austen tale and turns it into Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I was excited to read the book (I mean Elizabeth and Darcy kicking zombie arse? It sounds glorious!) Then I read it. It's not the zombies I have a problem with, oh no, it's his portrayal of Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth's "Master Liu." Master Liu clearly, is the Chinese master she had while training in Beijing all the ancient arts of weaponry. Who in order to teach her perseverance had her do a handstand for four days...straight.

But what really infuriates me is the conversation Mr. Darcy strikes up with Elizabeth. They are dancing their first dance at Netherfield (one of the most romantic tension sequences in literary history...and Seth ruins it.) when they run out of things to say (Austen gives them tensed banter, Seth gives them ignorant racism.)

I understand that Mr. Darcy was probably a racist given the time period but was that really necessary? Mr. Darcy is someone who I have been in love with since I was eight and now I have the satisfaction of knowing he thinks that my appearance is "strange." Mr. Darcy has been soiled by one man's interpretation that happened to be published AND became the New York Times best seller. It is appalling and unnecessary. How dare Grahame-Smith taint Mr. Darcy for me. Jane Austen did not mention any racial matters, so why then, Seth Grahame-Smith did you proceed to do so?

"'What think you of Orientals?' said he, smiling
'Orientals-oh! No. I am sure we never met the ame, or had the same feelings toward them.'

'But if that be the case, we may compare our different opinions. I think them a strange lot--both in appearance and custom, though having studied solely in Japan, I admit that the opinion may be incomplete. I should be most interested to hear of your time in the company of Chinamen.'

'No-I cannot talk of Orientals in a ball-room; my head is always full of something else.'

'The present always occupies you in such scenes--does it?'

'Yes, always,' she replied, without knowing what she said, for her thoughts had wandered far from the subject--to the pain of Master Liu's glowing brand searing her flesh [...] (75).



Monday, November 2, 2009

chuckles

Apparently I am just doing a list of all my top movies. So here goes the comedy one!

1. My Cousin Vinny
Joe Pesci, Ralph Macchio & Marisa Tomei
1992
This is one of the funniest comedies I have ever seen. You have two innocent boys from the East Coast driving through Alabama and accused of a crime they didn't commit. Then you take a clueless relative from Brooklyn come down to be their lawyer and you have a masterpiece. With the support of Marisa Tomei, Joe Pesci's Vinny is hilarity. I absolutely love this movie.
Memorable Quotes:
"What about these pants I got on? You think they're okay?" -Vinny asking about what to wear for hunting.
"Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing along. You get thirsty. You spot a little brook. You put your little deer lips down to the cool, clear water, and BAM. A fuckin' bullet rips off part of your head. Your brains are lying on the ground in little bloody pieces. Now I ask ya, would you give a fuck what kind of pants the son-of-a-bitch who shot you was wearing?!" -Lisa

2. Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
John Cho & Kal Penn
2004
There is nothing like a watching a movie about two dudes who get high and go on an epic quest for white castle burgers. It is one of the first Asian-American comedies that has gone mainstream. Both Harold and Kumar have their intoxicating charms and add a slew of wonderful guest stars (NPH!) you have a winning comedy. It never fails to put a smile on my face though I've watched it more times than I can count.
Memorable Quotes:
"I forgot my cell phone." -Kumar
"You wanna run back and get it?" - Harold
[both turn and look at their front door 20 feet from them]
"No, we've gone too far." -Kumar


3. Zoolander
Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Christine Taylor, & Will Ferrell
2001
I can quote this ENTIRE movie. It makes me laugh so hard that my sides burst! It never gets old even though the comedy is immature. You can't just help but laugh at the ridiculous concept--the conspiracy that male models are trained assassins. It's glorious. With a quirky villain in Will Ferrel's Mugatu and with endearing stupidity, Zoolander charms all.
Memorable Quotes:
"Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" -Zoolander
"Are you here to tell me what a bad eugoogoolizer I am?" -Zoolander
"I became..." -Matilda
"What?"- Hansel
"Bulimic." -Matilda
"You can read minds?!" -Zoolander
"What is this!? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read good...if they can't even fit inside the building?!" -Zoolander


4. The Court Jester
Danny Kaye, Angela Lansbury & Glynis Johns
1956
This is a ridiculous comedy about one man, Hawkins who holds the fate of the true heir to England's crown. He poses as a jester attempting to infiltrate the castle grounds. And as a jester it leads to different assassination plots, being put under a spell by a witch and falling in love. It is HILARIOUS. Danny Kaye provides much comic relief!
Memorable Quotes:
"I've got it! I've got it! The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true!" -Hawkins
"Right. But there's been a change. They broke the chalice from the palace. And replaced it with a flagon. With the figure of a dragon." -Grieslda
"But did you put the pellet with the poison in the vessel with the pestle?" -Hawkins
"No! The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with a dragon! The vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true." -Grieslda

5. Young Frankesntein
Gene Wilder, Peter Boyle
1974
One of my favorite Mel Brook's movies. It is pure genius. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein is a scientist ashamed by his grandfather, the original Frankenstein. He prefers his name to be pronounced like, Fronkensteen to separate him from his heritage. With a sidekick like Igor and Peter Boyle playing the creation this movie is spectacularly hilarious!
Memorable Quotes:
"Would you mind telling me whose brain I DID put in?" -Frankenstein
"Then you won't be angry?" -Igor
"I will NOT be angry." -Frankenstein
"Abby Someone." -Igor
"Abby who?" -Frankenstein
"Abby Normal." -Igor.


6. Arsenic and Old Lace
Cary Grant, Peter Lorne & Raymond Massey
1944
Mortimer Brewster has always known his family was a bit eccentric but to discover his two sweet elderly aunts have been killing men catches him off guard. After getting married to the girl next door, Mortimer spends the entire movie trying to handle his aunts and their mercy killings (they only kill elderly men who seem lonely and without homes.) One of his brothers thinks he's Teddy Roosevelt (who digs the "Panama Canal" in the basement for "yellow fever" victims) and his other brother is a deranged murderer who pays a visit (who has the face of Frankenstein). Then you add Peter Lorne as the mousy sidekick to Mortimer's deranged brother you've got a glorious comedy. This is one screwy comedy that sure will elicit some laughs.
Memorable Quotes:
"Chaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrggggeeeeeeeeee!" - Teddy


7. Duck Soup
Groucho, Harpo, Chico & Zeppo Marx
1933
Any movie that takes Groucho Marx and gives him political power is a win. As Rufus T. Firefly is cynical, sarcastic, quirky and just down right hilarious. He delivers his one liners with a punch. With the help of Groucho's comedic family this movie just comes together and you can't help but love its idiocy.
Memorable Quotes:
"I got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it." -Rufus T. Firefly


8. Some Like It Hot
Tony Curtis, Jack Lemmon, & Marilyn Monroe
1959
When you get two jazz musicians who witness a crime and are on the run from the mob you have the best formula for a comedy. Now you take those two jazz musicians and turn them into women you have one of the best comedies of all time. Joe/Josephine and Jerry/Daphne in order to escape the wrath of the mob, become women and join an all woman jazz tour. Enter Marilyn Monroe as Sugar and you've got yourself a hell of a movie. Josephine befriends Sugar and Joe poses as a millionaire to woo her. Daphne on the other hand may have his eyes set on Sugar, but is being sought after by Osgood Fielding III. This movie is the perfect combination of laughs, romance and action.
Memorable Quotes:
"Oh, you don't understand, Osgood! Ehhh...I'm a man." - Jerry/Daphne
"Well, nobody's perfect." -Osgood


9. The Birdcage
Robin Williams, Nathan Lane, Gene Hackman, Hank Azaria
1996
A gay couple's son wishes to get married to the daughter of a very conservative senator. Thus ensues a clever rouse of impressing the future-in-laws. Robin Williams is the owner of a gay cabaret club and Nathan Lane plays his overly sensitive companion. With Gene Hackman as the conservative senator and Hank Azaria as their housekeeper this movie supplies tons of laughter. It is hilarious.
Memorable Quotes:
"'You look tired' means 'you look old.' And 'you look rested' means 'you've had collagen.'" -Albert


10. Home Alone
Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern
1990
This is the BEST holiday comedy. Kevin is the smartest eight year old I have ever seen. He out smarts the robbers and it's not only adorable but it's a touching story about the importance of ones family.
Memorable Quotes:
"Keep the change ya filthy animal!" -Gangster Johnny
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" -Kevin


11. The Pink Panther
Peter Sellers, David Niven
1963
Inspector Jacques Clouseau is a hot mess. He is utterly clueless but somehow he manages to get his job done. Now give Inspector Clouseau a important job of catching a jewel thief and you get some hearty laughs from his bumbling attempts at crime solving.
Memorable Quotes:
"Chase that gorilla!!" -Inspect Clouseau


12. Superbad
Michael Cera, Jonah Hill, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Bill Hader, Seth Rogen
2007
This is just a boy's movie. But I love it. It's raunchy, offensive but damn right funny. I love the bfflie relationship between Evan and Seth and the pure comedy that is McLovin'. With the idiotic and offensive cops, Superbad is too funny to be disliked.
Memorable Quotes:
"I just want to tell the whole world that you're my best friend. I love you man. I want to shout it on the rooftops!" -Seth
"OH SHIT! The Cops!" -Officer Michaels & Slater
"And you landed on McLovin..."- Seth
"Yeah. It was between that or Muhammad." -Fogell
"Why the FUCK would it be between THAT or Muhammed?" -Seth
"Muhammad is the most commonly used name on Earth. Read a fucking book for once." -Fogell

Sunday, November 1, 2009

as time goes by

My top romance movies...

1. Roman Holiday
Audrey Hepburn & Gregory Peck
1953
This is my favorite movie of all time. Gregory Peck as a reporter who has dubious intentions at first, but has a heart of gold. Audrey Hepburn in her first movie ever as a naive Princess who just wants to be free from her societal duties. And a photographer who's there for comic relief and to document Princess Ann's first foray out in the real world. It's a classic romance. Plus, the fact that I love this movie so much that I attempted to reenact it during my own time in Rome (I sought out high and low for the mouth of truth, the photo below.)
Memorable Quotes:
"Hit him again, Smitty!" - Irving
"Your Excellency, I trust you will not find it necessary to use that word again. Were I not completely aware of my duty to my family and to my country, I would not have come back tonight...or indeed ever again!" -Princess Ann's response to someone reminding her of her duty.


2. It Happened One Night
Clark Gable & Claudette Colbert
1934
A classic. It is the romantic comedy that all romantic comedies should be judged against. Hugh Grant could only strive to be this good. It has another reporter who will do anything to get a story that is until he falls in love with his subject. Ellie Andrews is an heiress who desperately wants to marry the (supposed) love of her life. She runs away from her father. Her face is spread all over the papers. Peter Warne who drunkenly cursed out his boss is desperate for a front-page story, and comes across her on a bus going to New York. Banter ensues. My favorite scene is the one where she teaches him how to hitchhike. It's a mixture of heart and hilarity, which is why I love it.
Memorable Quotes:
"Do you love her?" - Alexander Andrews (Ellie's papa)
A normal human being couldn't live under the same roof with her without going nutty! She's my idea of nothing!" -Peter Warne
"I asked you a simple question! Do you love her?" -Alexander Andrews
"YES! But don't hold that against me, I'm a little screwy myself!" -Peter Warne


3.
Casablanca
Humphrey Bogart & Ingrid Bergman
1942
This needs no introduction. It's one of the most beloved romance movies of all time. Love set in wartime is automatically epic and Rick & Ilsa are no exception. This has to be one of the most quoted movies of all time. Just remember, a kiss is just a kiss.
Memorable Quotes:
"Here's looking at you, kid." -Rick
"Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine." -Rick
"Play it once, Sam. For old times' sake. Play 'As Time Goes By'" -Ilsa


4. Gone With The Wind
Clark Gable & Vivian Leigh
1939
It is a wonderful movie. It is a love story amongst the struggles of the Civil War. I was so in love with this movie that I watched it twice in one day. Scarlett O'Hara is a dynamic character and Rhett Butler is swoon worthy. I even named all my Sims characters after Rhett Butler.
Memorable Quotes:
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." -Rhett Butler
"As God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again!" -Scarlett O'Hara

5. Pillow Talk
Rock Hudson & Doris Day
1959
It's my favorite Doris & Rock collaboration. Sure, Brad Allen is a lying lothario, but damn can he make my heart flutter. Rock Hudson plays a composer who shares a party line (telephone line) with a serious workingwoman, Jan. She complains bitterly because every night she can get her own phone calls because he has tied up the line with his flirtations. When his friend hires Jan as an interior decorator, Brad is determined to be with her. Unfortunately in order to do that he lies. And as with many liars, they get caught. Bottom line, despite the lies, it is an adorable movie that I love.
Memorable Quotes:
"Mr. Allen, this may come as a surprise to you, but there are some men who don't end every sentence with a proposition." -Jan

6. Pride & Prejudice
Keira Knightely & Matthew Macfayden
2005
I love this version because I believe it condensed the novel into a respectable viewing time and because Matthew Macfayden as Mr. Darcy was a welcomed treat. This classic British tale captivates me. I LOVE their love.
Memorable Quotes:
"I love you. Most ardently." -Mr. Darcy


7. Titanic
Leonardo DiCaprio & Kate Winslet
1997
I was nine years old. James Bond's Tomorrow Never Dies was sold out so we ended up watching Titanic. And two days later I owned every magazine that Leo was in. It was love. Jack Dawson remains one of my favorite fictional characters. He was poor, yes, but he was full of life and he had the best hair. Though Rose was full of lies, this movie shows how powerful love can be in the most trying of times.
Memorable Quotes:
"I'll never let go. I'll never let go, Jack." -Rose


8. Beauty & The Beast
Paige O'Hara & Robby Benson
1991
Finally! A Disney heroine who is actually smart! She actually reads! With a mansion full of inanimate objects that dance and talk, how could this not be one of the best romantic movies? Plus the Beast gives Belle the BEST gift, a glorious library (and an AWESOME mirror.) My favorite part of this movie is the fact that she had read about Prince Charming and she finally found him!
Memorable Quotes:
"I want adventure in the great wide somewhere. I want it more than I can tell. And for once it might be grand, to have someone understand...I want so much more than they've got planned." -Belle

9. The Sure Thing
John Cusack & Daphne Zuniga
1985
The best John Cusack movie. Hands down. Walter "Gib" Gibson is the best college boy out there. He oozes wit, is beautiful and has a buttery interior. I am so in love with him! The banter is adorable!
Memorable Quotes:
"How would you like to have a sexual encounter so intense it could conceivably change your political views?" -Gib


10. The Princess Bride
Cary Elwes & Robin Wright Penn
1987

I grew up with this movie. My neighbor and I would watch it literally everyday for months. I love the fantasy aspect of it and the fact that is has the cute Wonder Years boy in it! Billy Crystal literally steals his scenes. Cary Elwes is a Sarah Lawrence alum, and the romance between Buttercup and Wesley is unyielding. It is a wonderful story about truuuuueeee loooooveeee.
Memorable Quotes:
"As you wish." -Wesley
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." -Inigo
"INCONCEIVABLE!" -Vizzini


11. When Harry Met Sally
Billy Crystal & Meg Ryan
1989
A cynical New Yorker and a neurotic, meticulous woman make the perfect couple. I love how their story spans years and only when they become friends do they understand one another and fall in love. I LOVE the scenes with the old couples discussing their own love stories. It's adorable and adds a certain amount of charm to the movie as a whole.
Memorable Quotes:
"I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend a day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I got to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Years Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." -Harry

12. Love Actually
Every British actor!
2003
One of the best holiday films that is filled with love and British accents! The stories are original and quirky. This is one romantic comedy that is full of heart and laughs!
Memorable Quotes:
"We need Kate & Leo, and we need them now." -Daniel